Oh my. Another pirate with 1,000 yars? You got and deserved everyone of those yars.

pirate101 lover on Feb 4, 2014 wrote:

Oh my. Another pirate with 1,000 yars? You got and deserved everyone of those yars.

National anthem of Valkoor Verse 1:

A true leader, brave and victorious
A born hero, ever so glorious

A helpful pirate, as friendly as can be
Starting epic threads, like PHP

He is a warrior, a true legend
And he is such a good friend!

The acrostic guide of greatness:

V-Victorious... always
A-Amazing, thats just one word to describe him
L-Loveable, what a friendly pirate
K-Kind, Very very kind that is
O- Outstanding, need I say more?
O- Outstanding X 2, no X 3
R- Ridiculously epic and awesome.

Congrats Valkoor!

pirate101 lover on Feb 4, 2014 wrote:

Oh my. Another pirate with 1,000 yars? You got and deserved everyone of those yars.

"Up jumps a crab with his crooked legs
Saying 'you play the cribbage and I'll stick the pegs'
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Louis le Bisque started the shanty, but by the time the chorus had come around most of the crew had joined in as the more nimble climbed the mast.

"Up jumps a dolphin with his chuckle-head
He jumps on the deck saying 'pull out the lead!'
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Bonnie Anne had a surprisingly true soprano for all her Albion accent. The climbers had now taken up positions along the spars and were untying the great knots that held the sails.

"Up jumps a flounder so flat on the ground
Saying 'mind your old chocolate, mind how you sound'
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

"Up jumps a salmon so bright as the sun
He jumped down between the decks and fired off a gun
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Milo Graytail and Sarah Steele had laid claim to the next two verses. With a majectic slowness, the sails unfurled until with an almighty Crack, they bellowed out and caught the spiral breeze.

"Up jumps a whale, the biggest of all
He jumped up aloft and he's pawl after pawl
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Ratbeard couldn't sing to save his life, but no one needs to be a great singer for a shanty.

"Up jumps a herring, the king of the sea
He jumps up on deck saying 'helms a-lee!'
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Subodai seldom spoke, let alone sang - so it was a pleasant surprise as the Horse Khan took a rare turn.

"Up jumps a shark with his big row of teeth
He jumped up between the decks and shook out the reefs
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

The last verse was a joint effort as everyone pitched in, each with their own musical pitch. The Black Star slid easily into the skylane. It's destination known only to Captain, who told his crew only it was mission of vital importance. They looked at him warily out of the corner of their eyes - but there was none of the usual wild-eyed, crazed looks of past 'vital importance' missions. Sam stood alone on the quarterdeck and smiled as the ship leapt forward on her way. Then he surprised everyone all by bursting into a repeat of the chorus.
"Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

The crew looked at each other excitedly. Whatever was going on, for all the easy comraderie, there was adventure in the air.

(Blow the wind westerly - traditional Newfoundland shanty)
('The suspense is terrible! I hope it will last!' Oscar Wilde)
(to be continued)

Chrissy Th'Blesser on Feb 5, 2014 wrote:

I totally agree here. Valkoor, whom I call "The Professor" for his high amounts of wisdom and his knack for explaining things to other pirates in such a thorough way. Every one of those yars are from a grateful pirate that is now a better pirate in the game or they are a better pirate from the wonderful giggles your sense of humor has dealt out.
The value of these message boards increased exponentially the day you typed your first post.
Congratulations Valkoor.

Chrissy, I thank you ever so much. Your pleasant and positive exuberance is what keeps me going and keeps me eager to try to follow your lead. I greatly appreciate your constant show of support- no matter what may be going on you are always there to offer encouragement. I believe I owe my stay on the boards to your pleasant excepting of all new message board members- if not for that royal treatment, I may have just been passing through. You treat everyone here like family....one huge and adventurous, pirate family.

Thank you for your kind words and for setting such a good example to all.

Sam Underhill on Feb 6, 2014 wrote:

"Up jumps a crab with his crooked legs
Saying 'you play the cribbage and I'll stick the pegs'
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Louis le Bisque started the shanty, but by the time the chorus had come around most of the crew had joined in as the more nimble climbed the mast.

"Up jumps a dolphin with his chuckle-head
He jumps on the deck saying 'pull out the lead!'
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Bonnie Anne had a surprisingly true soprano for all her Albion accent. The climbers had now taken up positions along the spars and were untying the great knots that held the sails.

"Up jumps a flounder so flat on the ground
Saying 'mind your old chocolate, mind how you sound'
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

"Up jumps a salmon so bright as the sun
He jumped down between the decks and fired off a gun
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Milo Graytail and Sarah Steele had laid claim to the next two verses. With a majectic slowness, the sails unfurled until with an almighty Crack, they bellowed out and caught the spiral breeze.

"Up jumps a whale, the biggest of all
He jumped up aloft and he's pawl after pawl
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Ratbeard couldn't sing to save his life, but no one needs to be a great singer for a shanty.

"Up jumps a herring, the king of the sea
He jumps up on deck saying 'helms a-lee!'
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Subodai seldom spoke, let alone sang - so it was a pleasant surprise as the Horse Khan took a rare turn.

"Up jumps a shark with his big row of teeth
He jumped up between the decks and shook out the reefs
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

The last verse was a joint effort as everyone pitched in, each with their own musical pitch. The Black Star slid easily into the skylane. It's destination known only to Captain, who told his crew only it was mission of vital importance. They looked at him warily out of the corner of their eyes - but there was none of the usual wild-eyed, crazed looks of past 'vital importance' missions. Sam stood alone on the quarterdeck and smiled as the ship leapt forward on her way. Then he surprised everyone all by bursting into a repeat of the chorus.
"Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

The crew looked at each other excitedly. Whatever was going on, for all the easy comraderie, there was adventure in the air.

(Blow the wind westerly - traditional Newfoundland shanty)
('The suspense is terrible! I hope it will last!' Oscar Wilde)
(to be continued)

My goodness Sam, what in the Spiral are you trying to do to me.

After reading this I found myself dancing and prancing around on the jobsite with my tool belt twirling and whipping my hammer around my head as if to propel my self into the air- I was just a singin' and a dancin' like I hadn't a care in the world- think I may have even thrown in a few pas de basques, pas de bourrees and plies in there. How embarrassing as I can no longer make eye contact with my crew without getting a wink in return.

And furthermore, don't you know I work with power tools and heavy equipment (ok, so maybe you didn't- I mean how could you have). You could have and did put my life at risk (even though it was more than worth it). Although, you had to be fully aware of how a pirate can't resist a 'shanty so salty and sublime'. Clearly you had to understand the repercussions that would be sure to unfold once a 'seafaring sailor sonnet of such sweet serendipity' made it's way into my unsuspecting cerebral cortex.

I so enjoyed the sharing of that shanty despite my rants above (although they clearly are justified). I am eagerly anticipating the continuation for I am sure it will be fantastic as usual.

Sam,

(Your 'mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought, cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.' - Hedley Lamarr)
('Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue. It's twue!- Lili Von Shtupp)
('Can I get a harrumph!'- Governor William J. Le Petomane)

Sam Underhill on Feb 6, 2014 wrote:

"Up jumps a crab with his crooked legs
Saying 'you play the cribbage and I'll stick the pegs'
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Louis le Bisque started the shanty, but by the time the chorus had come around most of the crew had joined in as the more nimble climbed the mast.

"Up jumps a dolphin with his chuckle-head
He jumps on the deck saying 'pull out the lead!'
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Bonnie Anne had a surprisingly true soprano for all her Albion accent. The climbers had now taken up positions along the spars and were untying the great knots that held the sails.

"Up jumps a flounder so flat on the ground
Saying 'mind your old chocolate, mind how you sound'
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

"Up jumps a salmon so bright as the sun
He jumped down between the decks and fired off a gun
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Milo Graytail and Sarah Steele had laid claim to the next two verses. With a majectic slowness, the sails unfurled until with an almighty Crack, they bellowed out and caught the spiral breeze.

"Up jumps a whale, the biggest of all
He jumped up aloft and he's pawl after pawl
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Ratbeard couldn't sing to save his life, but no one needs to be a great singer for a shanty.

"Up jumps a herring, the king of the sea
He jumps up on deck saying 'helms a-lee!'
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

Subodai seldom spoke, let alone sang - so it was a pleasant surprise as the Horse Khan took a rare turn.

"Up jumps a shark with his big row of teeth
He jumped up between the decks and shook out the reefs
Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

The last verse was a joint effort as everyone pitched in, each with their own musical pitch. The Black Star slid easily into the skylane. It's destination known only to Captain, who told his crew only it was mission of vital importance. They looked at him warily out of the corner of their eyes - but there was none of the usual wild-eyed, crazed looks of past 'vital importance' missions. Sam stood alone on the quarterdeck and smiled as the ship leapt forward on her way. Then he surprised everyone all by bursting into a repeat of the chorus.
"Singing blow the wind westerly, let the wind blow
By a gentle nor'wester how steady she goes."

The crew looked at each other excitedly. Whatever was going on, for all the easy comraderie, there was adventure in the air.

(Blow the wind westerly - traditional Newfoundland shanty)
('The suspense is terrible! I hope it will last!' Oscar Wilde)
(to be continued)

My goodness Sam. Everytime I think your light has shone it's brightest you go and raise the radiance meter even brighter. This is not only very addictive to the mind with the capabilities of even erasing the 'Tale of those castaways' diddy from my mind it also is so fun and so well written that you pulled me right onto your ship and I found myself right there, sitting on a barrel & playing an accordion and singing along with everyone else.
If I weren't a captain myself I would for sure want to sail with any of your crews.

Sam Underhill on Feb 7, 2014 wrote:

"Cap'n, may I ask you a question?" Bonnie Anne poked her nose over the crate she was crouched behind and loosed another volley from her blunderbuss.

"I don't feel this is an appropriate time for twenty questions," Sam replied, his cutlass blocking a viscious stab aimed at Subodai's back.

"I thinks we all has somethin' to asks ye, Cap'n," Ratbeard added to the conversation. Harr!" the old Rat did his copyrighted 'spin on his peg' move and walloped the Dog guard, who wisely chose to retreat out the door.

"I think that is all of them, Captain," Subodai announced, sheathing his sword. The crew sauntered together in the center of the crates. They were piled high to the ceiling in some places.

"Alright then," Sam informed them all, "we're looking for just one crate in all this. It'll be marked with a big red 'V'. El Toro, you watch the door, everyone else, fan out."

"Why is it that I, El Toro (music), must watch the door rather than join the search for this crate?"

"So that you can handle any interloper that comes to disturb us, big guy."

"I only wanted to know." The smugness echoed off the walls as the Bull's manic ego swelled even more.

"Soooo, Cap'n, what so all fired important in this crate of yorn?"

"That's on a need to know basis, old friend."

"Watch who you're calling old, ya young pup," but Ratbeard's smile took any heat from the jibe.

"There ain't no crate marked 'V' over here," Milo Graytail declared. "I'll just go help Sarah over there..." Milo had developed a bit of a crush on poor Sarah, who was growing quite annoyed by his attentions.

"More looking, less talking. Those Dogs have probably gone to get the peelers."

"Let them come," El Toro cried, "my sword itches to taste another round of battle."

"I and I thinks we have found it, Captain my Captain," Old Scratch announced.

Sam went over quickly to where the Skeleton pointed, halfway up a tall stack. "That's it," he crowed triumphantly. "Let's get it back to the ship and cast off before the constables arrive." Of course, this was easier said than done as the arguing commenced over who should move what, and who's toes shouldn't have gotten underfoot in the first place.

"I do not wish to rush you," El Toro called from the door, "but I believe I see some Dogs gathering outside. They will probably sally forth an assault shortly." This declaration turned the team into the familiar well-oiled machine, focused on the immediate task. In less than one minute the crate had been handed out a side window and the crew began scurrying through the twisted alleyways to where the Black Star awaited.

"Ye still hasn't told us what's in it, Cap'n. Nor what this is all about neither."

"OK, stow that crate below and cast off, and I mean yesterday!" Sam shouted from the quarterdeck. "Last one to stations gets no dessert!" Sam threatened, and the ship gracefully pulled from the dock and headed out into the night skies.

(to be continued)

The suspense is tuggen' at me trousers like a baby raccoon looking for a morsel...oh, be still those pleading eyes- you furry little fella, all in good time. Any guesses at what could be in that box? I have a 'couple'.

Valencian Vacuums
Virgil's writings- Aeneid , Ecloques and Georgics
Vehicular insurance quotes
Vulpine101- Guide to Snipering and Sharpshooting
Victorian furniture Varnish
Vick's Vapor Rub
Viggo Mortensen and Vince Vaughn life size Fatheads
Vade mecums for Various Vacation hotspots in the Vast Spiral
Valenki footwear
Vespa parking tips
Varicella and Variola Vaccinations
Varec Veggie bites
Vin Diesel wigs
Vavasours and Vedettes for Vigilent protection
Varicose Vein treatments
Vincent Van Gogh's lost artwork
Varmint-away spray
Vivien Vance complete Video Library
Valentine kisses
Vespasian's guide to a Victorious Flavian Dynasty
Viper Venom of Varying potencies
Vizzini's Views on all things "Inconceivable"
Valvoline oil for your Pennyfarthing mount and Gracie's Golem
Vaclav Jindrich Veit's fictional handbook, Compose Yourself
Vitameatavegamin- Lucy's special recipe
Valor's Armor and Valor's Fortress Gear for Valkoor the Victorious
Voltaire's guide to better expression yourself
V for Vendetta masks
Vladimer Veksler's Articles on Accelerating Your Particles
Venetian Blinds
Vampire Bats
Verrazzano and Vespucci's notes and opinions on Dora the Explorer
Volcanic ash from Waponi Wu
Velociraptor skin boots and purses
Vulture Pirate, Raider, Plunderer and Slinger Companions
Vicky Vallencourt's line of High Quality H20 (patented and produced by Bobby Boucher)
Voldemort's line of self tanning lotions and sprays
Vegemite sandwiches, courtesy of Golden Guardian
'Viva la Persistence' propaganda from Ratbeard himself
....or Valzabrat screenshot albums (although that would require a whole warehouse of boxes)

The suspense is killing me, I am sure it just has to be one of these items, what else could it possibly be?

ValkoorTheVictorio... on Feb 7, 2014 wrote:

My goodness Sam, what in the Spiral are you trying to do to me.

After reading this I found myself dancing and prancing around on the jobsite with my tool belt twirling and whipping my hammer around my head as if to propel my self into the air- I was just a singin' and a dancin' like I hadn't a care in the world- think I may have even thrown in a few pas de basques, pas de bourrees and plies in there. How embarrassing as I can no longer make eye contact with my crew without getting a wink in return.

And furthermore, don't you know I work with power tools and heavy equipment (ok, so maybe you didn't- I mean how could you have). You could have and did put my life at risk (even though it was more than worth it). Although, you had to be fully aware of how a pirate can't resist a 'shanty so salty and sublime'. Clearly you had to understand the repercussions that would be sure to unfold once a 'seafaring sailor sonnet of such sweet serendipity' made it's way into my unsuspecting cerebral cortex.

I so enjoyed the sharing of that shanty despite my rants above (although they clearly are justified). I am eagerly anticipating the continuation for I am sure it will be fantastic as usual.

Sam,

(Your 'mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought, cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.' - Hedley Lamarr)
('Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue. It's twue!- Lili Von Shtupp)
('Can I get a harrumph!'- Governor William J. Le Petomane)

Oh to have been a fly on the pallet to have seen that. If only one of your crew had only had the wits to whip out their phone and video that I would have paid handsomely for it.
Such joy overflowed being expressed in such a way would be a performance that will live forever in your soul. Thank you for such a vivid and wonderful mental picture.

Sam Underhill on Feb 7, 2014 wrote:

"Cap'n, may I ask you a question?" Bonnie Anne poked her nose over the crate she was crouched behind and loosed another volley from her blunderbuss.

"I don't feel this is an appropriate time for twenty questions," Sam replied, his cutlass blocking a viscious stab aimed at Subodai's back.

"I thinks we all has somethin' to asks ye, Cap'n," Ratbeard added to the conversation. Harr!" the old Rat did his copyrighted 'spin on his peg' move and walloped the Dog guard, who wisely chose to retreat out the door.

"I think that is all of them, Captain," Subodai announced, sheathing his sword. The crew sauntered together in the center of the crates. They were piled high to the ceiling in some places.

"Alright then," Sam informed them all, "we're looking for just one crate in all this. It'll be marked with a big red 'V'. El Toro, you watch the door, everyone else, fan out."

"Why is it that I, El Toro (music), must watch the door rather than join the search for this crate?"

"So that you can handle any interloper that comes to disturb us, big guy."

"I only wanted to know." The smugness echoed off the walls as the Bull's manic ego swelled even more.

"Soooo, Cap'n, what so all fired important in this crate of yorn?"

"That's on a need to know basis, old friend."

"Watch who you're calling old, ya young pup," but Ratbeard's smile took any heat from the jibe.

"There ain't no crate marked 'V' over here," Milo Graytail declared. "I'll just go help Sarah over there..." Milo had developed a bit of a crush on poor Sarah, who was growing quite annoyed by his attentions.

"More looking, less talking. Those Dogs have probably gone to get the peelers."

"Let them come," El Toro cried, "my sword itches to taste another round of battle."

"I and I thinks we have found it, Captain my Captain," Old Scratch announced.

Sam went over quickly to where the Skeleton pointed, halfway up a tall stack. "That's it," he crowed triumphantly. "Let's get it back to the ship and cast off before the constables arrive." Of course, this was easier said than done as the arguing commenced over who should move what, and who's toes shouldn't have gotten underfoot in the first place.

"I do not wish to rush you," El Toro called from the door, "but I believe I see some Dogs gathering outside. They will probably sally forth an assault shortly." This declaration turned the team into the familiar well-oiled machine, focused on the immediate task. In less than one minute the crate had been handed out a side window and the crew began scurrying through the twisted alleyways to where the Black Star awaited.

"Ye still hasn't told us what's in it, Cap'n. Nor what this is all about neither."

"OK, stow that crate below and cast off, and I mean yesterday!" Sam shouted from the quarterdeck. "Last one to stations gets no dessert!" Sam threatened, and the ship gracefully pulled from the dock and headed out into the night skies.

(to be continued)

"Unleash the horn! Another volley from the broadsides! Quickly now!" While he shouted, Sam was furiously thinking whether to board the Amber Horde ship or sink it from afar. If they had had time it would be more profitable to board her before scuttling the hulk, but time was pressing. "Release the Djinni for another round! At 'em me hearties!"

"Like we doesn't know what we're doing," grumbled Ratbeard. The old Rat was beginning to smell a bit like burnt toast from the ashes of the enemy ship's fire.

"I like that the young captain is in fine fettle again. It is good he takes command from time to time." Subodai finished up pointing the cannon and lit the fuse.

"He's been too quiet about what we're up to for me liking."

"Bring her about and close swiftly for I, El Toro (music), wish to taste the fear of the Horse swine who dare oppose us."

"And who made you Captain?" Bonnie Anne inquired dangerously. "I believe the Cap'n wants to just sink her and press on."

The Bull and the Fox gave each other a good hard stare, but then backed away. Their friendsip was too solid to let the heat of battle get in the way. Besides just then Sam bellowed from the quarterdeck, "Again crew! Give 'em what for! I want to be on the mountain before the light's gone!"

"No boarding today, me bucko," Ratbeard pronounced.

"Another day," El Toro acquiesced. He then shouted across the skies, "You are lucky today, for you do not have to face the sword of - El Toro (music)!"

"Or his monstrous ego," Mustang Sally joined them. "Be patient, my love, I have no doubt they are trembling with relief that they will only be sunk. They will be rescued by their fellow horders (is that a word?). You can fight them later."

"Perhaps if we are lucky they may attack us once we land in Mooshu."

"Not lucky for them," Subodai declared. An explosion from the Amber Horde ship announced her impending doom. Life rafts carried the horde crew from the wreckage and the ship began to fall apart. "What is it the Captain wishes us to seek in my homeland for?"

The question was meant for Bonnie Anne, who as First Mate was privy to most of the Captain's decisions. "No idea, he's been quiet as a clam about all this." She shrugged and walked off to start cleaning up after the brief, though intense, battle.

"Maybe we can pick up some sky clams along the way for dinner," Milo Graytail came up, "they're my favorite."

"Bring her around to the docks! The light's fading as we speak!" Sam came down to the main deck. "Subodai, you know these hills, Sally, you come along too. Someone find Sarah Steele. Bonnie Anne, you're in charge."

"Aye, Cap'n," she agreed with a short bark.

"I'll find Sarah." Milo ran off. Everyone smiled to themselves. Poor Sarah, and poor Milo when she finally turned him down.

"What is it we are looking for, Captain?" Subodai inquired gently.

"I'll let you know when we find it," Sam answered enigmatically.

(to be continued)

Chrissy Th'Blesser on Feb 8, 2014 wrote:

Oh to have been a fly on the pallet to have seen that. If only one of your crew had only had the wits to whip out their phone and video that I would have paid handsomely for it.
Such joy overflowed being expressed in such a way would be a performance that will live forever in your soul. Thank you for such a vivid and wonderful mental picture.

Ah, fly on the pallet- great use of construction vernacular Chrissy!

Trust me it wasn't a pretty sight or site for that matter...although I did feel somewhat 'pretty' with all of the aerial displays- light as a feather too, might I add. Even though it would have been a grand spectacle to behold, it's a good thing for me that phones are not allowed to be used to capture foolish acts of jobsite ballet- it's true, that comes straight out of the legally binding jobsite dos and don'ts articles of authoritave administration.

Glad to paint such a vivid picture of machismo merriment into your brain- you will forever be blessed (or haunted) because of it.

Sam Underhill on Feb 8, 2014 wrote:

"Unleash the horn! Another volley from the broadsides! Quickly now!" While he shouted, Sam was furiously thinking whether to board the Amber Horde ship or sink it from afar. If they had had time it would be more profitable to board her before scuttling the hulk, but time was pressing. "Release the Djinni for another round! At 'em me hearties!"

"Like we doesn't know what we're doing," grumbled Ratbeard. The old Rat was beginning to smell a bit like burnt toast from the ashes of the enemy ship's fire.

"I like that the young captain is in fine fettle again. It is good he takes command from time to time." Subodai finished up pointing the cannon and lit the fuse.

"He's been too quiet about what we're up to for me liking."

"Bring her about and close swiftly for I, El Toro (music), wish to taste the fear of the Horse swine who dare oppose us."

"And who made you Captain?" Bonnie Anne inquired dangerously. "I believe the Cap'n wants to just sink her and press on."

The Bull and the Fox gave each other a good hard stare, but then backed away. Their friendsip was too solid to let the heat of battle get in the way. Besides just then Sam bellowed from the quarterdeck, "Again crew! Give 'em what for! I want to be on the mountain before the light's gone!"

"No boarding today, me bucko," Ratbeard pronounced.

"Another day," El Toro acquiesced. He then shouted across the skies, "You are lucky today, for you do not have to face the sword of - El Toro (music)!"

"Or his monstrous ego," Mustang Sally joined them. "Be patient, my love, I have no doubt they are trembling with relief that they will only be sunk. They will be rescued by their fellow horders (is that a word?). You can fight them later."

"Perhaps if we are lucky they may attack us once we land in Mooshu."

"Not lucky for them," Subodai declared. An explosion from the Amber Horde ship announced her impending doom. Life rafts carried the horde crew from the wreckage and the ship began to fall apart. "What is it the Captain wishes us to seek in my homeland for?"

The question was meant for Bonnie Anne, who as First Mate was privy to most of the Captain's decisions. "No idea, he's been quiet as a clam about all this." She shrugged and walked off to start cleaning up after the brief, though intense, battle.

"Maybe we can pick up some sky clams along the way for dinner," Milo Graytail came up, "they're my favorite."

"Bring her around to the docks! The light's fading as we speak!" Sam came down to the main deck. "Subodai, you know these hills, Sally, you come along too. Someone find Sarah Steele. Bonnie Anne, you're in charge."

"Aye, Cap'n," she agreed with a short bark.

"I'll find Sarah." Milo ran off. Everyone smiled to themselves. Poor Sarah, and poor Milo when she finally turned him down.

"What is it we are looking for, Captain?" Subodai inquired gently.

"I'll let you know when we find it," Sam answered enigmatically.

(to be continued)

"Cap'n, I really doesn't mind being back in the sewers - in fact, it reminds me of me days as a wee lad, scurrying about wihtout a care in the world, playing with the bits of floating flotsam, arrr... doggonit, ye made me reminisce again."

"Go ahead and reminisce whle you can," Sam informed Ratbeard, "it looks as if we've arrived." They were below the streets in sewers of Port Regal.

Catbeard was having sneezing fits. "I simply do not understand why we have to come here of all places. The aromas are enough to put me off kippers."

"I'll take your share then," Milo piped up. "I love kippers, they're my favorite."

"Everything's your favorite, if'n it's put in front of ye."

"That's enough," Sam whispered, "we've got company." A troupe of wandering Wharf Rats were congregating in the passage ahead. Ratbeard peered around the corner.

"Aww.. we doesn't want hurt them, Cap'n. They're just young whipper snappers what doesn't know any better. We's ken sneak around 'em, I reckon."

"I believe I will need to wash my costume once we emerge from this mildew infested place," El Toro announced.

"Like the stench of your sweat is a picnic to endure," Sarah Steele muttered sotto voce.

The Wharf Rats scurried away upon seeing the pirates. "No doubt frightened off by my, I mean our sheer awesomeness. Probably off to tell their masters about us."

"Captain, you still haven't sufficiently explained to us just why we need to be down in this cesspool." Catbeard, like all his species, remained intensely curious.

"Because this is where Gilbert and Sullivan say they lost track of it."

"And what is it?"

"What we're looking for."

"Does it even occur to you we may be better help if we knew what it is?"

Just then Sam stopped suddenly, bent over and picked up a small oilskin wrapped parcel. He held it to his nose, made a face, then declared, "That's it then, back to the ship, no time to lose." He slipped the package into his pouch and began to lead the retreat back the way they had come.

"Does it occur to anyone else, this is naught but a big waste of time," El Toro questioned the air.

"I believe he is trying to put us off the true scent of what he's up to."

"Like a red herring?"

"I like herring, they're my favorite."

"It is past lunch time, is it not? A quick trip to the tavern on the way back? Some toasted cheese, a mug of yum?"

"You'll have to ask the Cap'n first."

"Not if we mutiny and hit the tavern before the ship."

"Besides, he hates toasted cheese."

"We know, we know, toasted cheese is your favorite."

"Besides, I hates the word 'mutiny'. Used ta hear it all the time back in the day."

"No, I don't need your help climbing the ladder, thank you very much."

"Sorry, just trying to help."

"Guys, you know what?" Sam called down from the street entrance. "I'm feeling a bit peckish, what say we stop at the tavern on our way back."

"Now that's my idea of a captain."

(to be continued)

wow! valkoors 1,000 yar already? congrats!!!!

Chrissy Th'Blesser on Feb 10, 2014 wrote:

Oh my goodness Professor I cannot stop laughing.
I was just grinning and enjoying this until I got to Vin Diesel wigs and I just lost it. Full on out loud laughing.
Then I made the mistake of taking a sip of ice coffee when I read Vinzzini's Views on all things 'Inconceivable' I totally lost it again LOL * Wipes ice coffee off of screen*.
Then you go and hit me with the double whammy of: Voldemort's line of self tanning lotions and sprays, which got he roaring again and before I could even inhale properly I see: Vegemite sandwiches, courtesy of Golden Guardian and once more I am mired in mirth.
You sir are not only a professor you are a comedic genius.
Dang now after all this giggling I gotta go to the powder room. Thank you immensely for the hilarity.
You should write professionally. The more people that see your stuff, the happier the world will be. And if you and Sam were to team up, wars would be a thing of the past.

Thank you again for the significant snickers.

Wow, thank you Chrissy! First a Professor and now a comedic genius- that is very, very generous of you. Although I think it may be stretching the silly putty a bit thin, but I thank you for the wonderful compliment. I am so glad you enjoy my slapstick sense of humor, most who read it just want to actually slap me with a stick. Man I sure hope that I don't cause any damage to your screen. A shame, what a waste of perfectly good ice coffee too- so sorry about that. I would absolutely love to write professionally but I don't think that I am quite up to literary par with what it takes to make it. Although with my style of goofy antics and just for fun scribble, maybe...just maybe.

I would give just about anything to work and translate my humor into writing for, say a game like Pirate101 or for a company like Kingsisle [shameless plug properly inserted]. So much of the dialogue and witty banter is right up my side street and embodies the style of writing that I so enjoy (and best suits me). I'll just settle though for getting a good laugh from a few people here and there and for sending cold beverages a flyin'.

Again thanks for the compliments and so glad to give you a bit of comic relief.