So my friend Lucas and I made this a while ago and were too lazy to post it.

The Secret Life of Cap'n Kitty

To make an outrageously long story short: Catbeard loses a silver can (like a cat food tin) he got from El Dorado, and we go search for it. He changes throughout the promotion, he gets a little less snobby.

Level 70, 71, 72- "CAPTAIN! Get over here, NOW!"

In a tavern cellar, Catbeard: "My captain, something incredibly valuable of mine has gone missing!", "NO, I didn't leave it anywhere- I wager it's been STOLEN!", "What is it? Well, that's not really any of your business, now is it?!" (imagine you just told him that you are his captain) "That's not the point!..We must leave this place at once!", "To Gullet!" We sail over to Jonah Town.

On our way over to the bucket, Captain Ahab: "Well hello there, what might you folk-" Unexpected Catbeard: "Enough talk, you! Now lower the bucket!" We descend to Gullet, and enter the Frogfather's office. The Frogfather does not seem entirely surprised.

Catbeard begins: "Frogfather- remember that trinket I showed you a long time ago?", "It's kind of a priceless heirloom, and I guess I let it slip from my paws."

Frogfather knows what he is talking about: "That is terrible. I can understand your anguish. Stolen, I suppose?", "If this is the case, I believe I may be able to help.", "I happen to be harboring some clients with such motives.", "Speak to Mr. Flinch in Port Regal. I'm sure he can direct you to them."

We find Mr. Flinch in The Hope and Anchor. The frog recognizes you from Ratbeard's second promotion: "Hmmm, you want a favor, huh? You're an able pirate. First, I'm in need of a favor.", "I lost my best gun, got stolen in fact, by Captain Catbeard. You seen 'im?"

Catbeard denies this: "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Mr. Flinch: "Oh! Catbeard!...I reckon we're going to have to do this the hard way. I'd like a new gun, an even better one.", "I saw a few clockworks scouting a shack down by the docks. Find them, snatch me one of their rifles, and we can get to business." The shack I'm referring to is down in the beach area of Port Regal, 2 doors right of where Mrs. Phipps is standing. You enter the shack. A salamander and 2 chicken pugilists are inside. Taco Salamanca, the salamander, is interrogating the chickens: "WHAT DID YOU DO!"

Jeff Purpleman, one of the chickens, is scared of Taco: "I want to live!"

Housenberg, the other chicken, notices you: "Pirate- help!" You, Catbeard, Housenberg, and Jeff Purpleman enter combat against Taco, a swashbuckler boss with insane, degenerate, piece-of-filth health. (If you got that reference you are awesome and I hope you know that)

Once he's defeated, Dragoons burst into the room: "Halt. Throw down your weapons or be incapacitated."
The chickens and salamander are all gone, in this fight it's 4 Dragoons vs. you, Catbeard, and 2 companions of choice.

Out of space. Will continue when this gets posted stay tuned.

Part 3 of i didn't really think it would take up this much space.

So we go take a look around Airedale Pier and find Buddy's Burgers on the boardwalk with the Ferris wheel.

Mysterious Invisible Cat: "Hissss!"

El Toro: "Could you say that again?"

And we go inside. It's dark inside the shop, but we can see light coming from a tunnel leading down, dug through the wall. The tunnel leads to a secret dock under Airedale Pier, containing one pirate ship.

Background Tigers: "Amir! Get on the ship! We depart for Rajah any minute now!" We don't fight these tigers, we don't even see them, but they hint for us to get on the ship.

Catbeard: "Captain, I think what I'm looking for is on that ship." Approaching and boarding the ship starts an instance quest, called 9-Lives. The first goal is to search barrels for Catbeard's "trinket" on the other side of the ship, but there are tigers standing in the way.

So you fight 4 random kurghas.

When you get to search the barrels, Monkey King says: "Just fish and cat nip, nothing interesting. Let's try going inside the ship." We go down a trapdoor into a room full of hammocks and cots. Bhru and some other random tigers are in there.

After the fight: Gracie Conrad: "Um, under the beds, maybe?",

and Ratbeard: "Nothing here. I sure hope whatever Kitty's looking for is worth it...",

next room. Cannons, scratching posts. Wahtardos and more random tigers are there.

After the fight, Wahtardos: "The shiny does not belong to pirates like you!"

Hawkules: "Why are we here again?"

Bonnie Anne: "Here, maybe those crates in the back hold this 'shiny'?"

Old Scratch: "No rooms left. I an' I go back to top deck." We return to the top deck.

Catbeard: "I think it may be lost forever, captain. I don't know what to do now."

Dang, out of space once again. I will continue it soon...

part 5 (Stats, Drops, and Cheats)

If I don't list any drops, they don't give anything special.

here's Taco:

Taco Salamanca
Salamander Assassin
Swashbuckler
Level 70
16350 Health
Blade Storm 3
First Strike 2
Vengeance Strike
Reckless Frenzy

He has some rare loot:

Taco's Blade
Stabby Weapon
Level 70+
Bonuses from Agility
232 Base Weapon Power

Salamanca Family Heirloom
Charm
Level 70+
Grants Riposte
+12 Weapon Power
+8 Dodge

here are the dragoon stats:

[dragoon name]
Armada Dragoon
Buccaneer
Level 69, 70, or 71
3308, 3376, or 3454 Health
Turn the Tide 3
Hold the Line 2
Blade Storm 2
Repel Boarders
Steely Resolve
The Big Guns

And the Spiders....

Spider
Spider (that's their title too)
Witchdoctor (yolo i made them melee)
Level 70, 71, or 72
2895, 2923, or 2951 Health
Repel Boarders 2
Vengeance Strike 2
Riposte
Relentless

Manticores get an epic-granting totem, so why not these random spiders?

Spider Fang
Totem
Grants Witch Hunter
+9 Will
+9 Magic Resist

Here are the cat smugglers:

[pirate name]
Cat Smuggler
Swashbuckler
Level 70, 71, or 72
2895, 2923, or 2951 Health
Pirate 2
Repel Boarders 2
Blade Storm 2
First Strike 2

Aww out of room again.

Part 5c (Drops, Cheats, and stats)

I couldn't put this in the last part:

Wicked 'Stache
Accessory
Level 70+
Grants Scent (probably too OP- only throwing the idea out there)
+15 Dodge

It drops from Morris the Cat.

Well, that's all folks! If you have questions or changes, post them below.

AndrewDeathblade11... on Feb 19, 2016 wrote:

Why do the moderators let you post Breaking Bad references and not me?...maybe I go too far...

Also, the part that wasn't on the script in the iPhone notes - Taco: "What'd you guys try to do to me, huh?" Jeff Pinkman: "I don't wanna die!" Taco: "WHAT DID YOU DO?!" (dragons) Jeff Pinkman: "Run! It's the P.E.A.!" Bonnie Anne: "Um, you mean the Armada?" Housenburg: "No! The Pirate Enforcement Agency! We need to hide!"

And Laevir Vigilum is the boss dragoon in the fight. His name translates to "brother-in-law cop", and he's like Hank Schrader. He has Widow's Touch and an Unveil cheat that reveals all hidden enemies automatically.

Unveil reveals all hidden enemies automatically? Ok, as in every hidden enemy on the battleboard without being near them?
If so, too OP, tone it down; either make it a power he must use ( this gives a random chance for it to show ) or make it that exposes any enemy who approaches him for a duration of 3 rounds?