With the recent updates to the game I've noticed that there are many people who seem to be upset about them. Either it's a problem with getting free pet snacks as drops, having to wait while a pet trains itself, or for a companion to bring back gold or equipment with absolutly no effort on our part. Or, finally perhaps the issue is with having to experiment, and use our brains to discover new pet hybrids.

But, I have a different issue entirely, one which I think requires more attention than these slightly lesser issues. You see this is a housing issue of incredible proportions. Since the update, poor Crimson Jake of Blood Shoals is homeless. Indeed he has been forced out of his home and onto the beach by the Black Gordons.

I say that we fellow pirates must do something to right this wrong! Either we need to petition KI to build a home for poor homeless Jake, or we need to set up a housing fund to support Crimson Jake and any other poor recently homeless pirates.

CdeWinter on May 27, 2014 wrote:

With the recent updates to the game I've noticed that there are many people who seem to be upset about them. Either it's a problem with getting free pet snacks as drops, having to wait while a pet trains itself, or for a companion to bring back gold or equipment with absolutly no effort on our part. Or, finally perhaps the issue is with having to experiment, and use our brains to discover new pet hybrids.

But, I have a different issue entirely, one which I think requires more attention than these slightly lesser issues. You see this is a housing issue of incredible proportions. Since the update, poor Crimson Jake of Blood Shoals is homeless. Indeed he has been forced out of his home and onto the beach by the Black Gordons.

I say that we fellow pirates must do something to right this wrong! Either we need to petition KI to build a home for poor homeless Jake, or we need to set up a housing fund to support Crimson Jake and any other poor recently homeless pirates.

GADZOOKS, Scarlet. That is a horror story if I ever heard one. Poor Crimson Jake, ousted at our pirates' expenses. The impudence, the audacity, the unmitigated gall....sorry, I do enjoy The Grinch.

Well, I happen to be a home builder, carpenter and construction worker...so, if somehow KI could shrink me and embed me into the programming, I surely would get to fabricating Homeless Jake a home to be proud of (and even whittle him a fancy new peg leg while I am at it).

If by some strange reason this isn't an option, then I say let's sign that petition or get to donating- either way, count me in!

Not only did this poor pirate lose his home & his leg, but also his girlfriend ( if you remember ). I say we get him a fishing boat and send him after some batacuda, at least he'll eat well....

CdeWinter on May 27, 2014 wrote:

With the recent updates to the game I've noticed that there are many people who seem to be upset about them. Either it's a problem with getting free pet snacks as drops, having to wait while a pet trains itself, or for a companion to bring back gold or equipment with absolutly no effort on our part. Or, finally perhaps the issue is with having to experiment, and use our brains to discover new pet hybrids.

But, I have a different issue entirely, one which I think requires more attention than these slightly lesser issues. You see this is a housing issue of incredible proportions. Since the update, poor Crimson Jake of Blood Shoals is homeless. Indeed he has been forced out of his home and onto the beach by the Black Gordons.

I say that we fellow pirates must do something to right this wrong! Either we need to petition KI to build a home for poor homeless Jake, or we need to set up a housing fund to support Crimson Jake and any other poor recently homeless pirates.

dang thats just sad i would love to help out but i'm still a kid but i can sign the petition i would love to help him out!

fearless talon Lewis

ValkoorTheVictorio... on May 29, 2014 wrote:

Ooh, nice idea Chrissy- Shake-N-Bake Jake does seem like he would fit in quite well in Jonah Town....he'd sure have one WHALE of a time, maybe it could be a MOBYLE home.....ok now I'm just SPOUT-in' off, I'll quit my BLUBBER-ing now.

The fact that you ran out of wonderful puns so fast is quite the FLUKE. Maybe you can FINish later. SONAR or later you will come up with some more I am sure. Maybe some CALFfeine will help.

Kai Alcott on May 30, 2014 wrote:

He's an NPC. He has no emotion, no feeling, all he does is stand there and repeat dialogue coded into him by programmers somewhere in Austin, Texas.

Wonderful way to kill a thread, Kai!

Chrissy Th'Blesser on May 29, 2014 wrote:

The fact that you ran out of wonderful puns so fast is quite the FLUKE. Maybe you can FINish later. SONAR or later you will come up with some more I am sure. Maybe some CALFfeine will help.

Well BLOW me down, that is some of the funniest puns me ever HERD.

BARNACLES- I know, Chrissy, I know- I am slippin'...I am just not as punny as I used to be. Lately I have been stuck on auto-PILOT, with not much going through this ole MELON. Probably just been spending too much time on my AMPH-I-POD. Let me just see if I can ORCA-strate some new magic that might put some BRISTLES in yer sails, without SOUNDING like I be BREACHING to the choir, mind ye.

I'd KRILL to have some of that old, long forgotten mojo back...for losing it I just may deserve a TAIL SLAP. Ahh, Perhaps lately I have just been a bit BLUE, WHALE- time to stop LOBTAILING and kick it up a NOTCH and get back in the ole SADDLE.

Oh, that reminds me, did you hear about the TOOTHED WHALE that had a whole mouth full of cavities?...NAR, WHALE then, lend me your ears. He had to go in and get put to sleep for some CETACEAN dentistry. Poor guy, he's awfully sad as it will be at least a week before he can go eat at SPY-HOP again. OK- you can have them back now.

Oh, excuse me for a moment- me son is looking for his bell..."What's that ye say little buddy, are you lookin' fer dat-a-bell or DEC-I-BEL?" "Oooh, did you see that FLIPPER is on?"- Love that movie

Ok, I am back- but I do actually have to be going now...I got to get to BALEEN some hay or me boss will have me walkin' the PLANK-TON for sure. And I got to eat my dessert...yummm, I just love KERAT-IN cake with crackers and BELUGA caviar.

RIGHT, WHALE...I be chattin' with ye, but ROUNDING OUT me preposterous puns I must leave ye with something for yer LOBE.

Have a wonderful day and thanks for the inspiration...I sure needed that!

ValkoorTheVictorio... on May 30, 2014 wrote:

Well BLOW me down, that is some of the funniest puns me ever HERD.

BARNACLES- I know, Chrissy, I know- I am slippin'...I am just not as punny as I used to be. Lately I have been stuck on auto-PILOT, with not much going through this ole MELON. Probably just been spending too much time on my AMPH-I-POD. Let me just see if I can ORCA-strate some new magic that might put some BRISTLES in yer sails, without SOUNDING like I be BREACHING to the choir, mind ye.

I'd KRILL to have some of that old, long forgotten mojo back...for losing it I just may deserve a TAIL SLAP. Ahh, Perhaps lately I have just been a bit BLUE, WHALE- time to stop LOBTAILING and kick it up a NOTCH and get back in the ole SADDLE.

Oh, that reminds me, did you hear about the TOOTHED WHALE that had a whole mouth full of cavities?...NAR, WHALE then, lend me your ears. He had to go in and get put to sleep for some CETACEAN dentistry. Poor guy, he's awfully sad as it will be at least a week before he can go eat at SPY-HOP again. OK- you can have them back now.

Oh, excuse me for a moment- me son is looking for his bell..."What's that ye say little buddy, are you lookin' fer dat-a-bell or DEC-I-BEL?" "Oooh, did you see that FLIPPER is on?"- Love that movie

Ok, I am back- but I do actually have to be going now...I got to get to BALEEN some hay or me boss will have me walkin' the PLANK-TON for sure. And I got to eat my dessert...yummm, I just love KERAT-IN cake with crackers and BELUGA caviar.

RIGHT, WHALE...I be chattin' with ye, but ROUNDING OUT me preposterous puns I must leave ye with something for yer LOBE.

Have a wonderful day and thanks for the inspiration...I sure needed that!

*Laughing so hard I am actually snorting* I just knew that would prompt you into a TIDE of puns. I knew you just needed PODded a bit and you would have us HERDing in giggle pain. WHALE done Valkoor. You have once again far surpassed my expectations. The SONG of my praises is spot on.

Kai Alcott on May 30, 2014 wrote:

He's an NPC. He has no emotion, no feeling, all he does is stand there and repeat dialogue coded into him by programmers somewhere in Austin, Texas.

(Kai that is entirely the point of this, shh, I'm saying that people's problems with the updates are mostly just as nonsensical as getting upset about a homeless NPC.)

I'd like to thank everyone for their support of this worthy cause, so far, we've raised an awful lot of puns. But I'm not sure that we can actually build a house out of them. Perhaps the petition is the way to go, but maybe we should add a clause where we ask KI to filter out this strange new punster that has apparently taken over Valkour's identity?

CdeWinter on May 30, 2014 wrote:

(Kai that is entirely the point of this, shh, I'm saying that people's problems with the updates are mostly just as nonsensical as getting upset about a homeless NPC.)

I'd like to thank everyone for their support of this worthy cause, so far, we've raised an awful lot of puns. But I'm not sure that we can actually build a house out of them. Perhaps the petition is the way to go, but maybe we should add a clause where we ask KI to filter out this strange new punster that has apparently taken over Valkour's identity?

Well, Scarlet if you believe that my pun usage is strange and new, then perchance you may have been set adrift at Skyway for wee bit. The length of time I've spent using the Glorious Pun here on the boards, stretches further then the golden, flowing locks of Ra-pun-zel.

So, I say- if puns can't actually build ole Jake a house, perhaps they can build him a Pun-toon boat instead!

I have an idea! Maybe he could be assigned to a brand new quest line that takes us to a new world? Idk if you get any side quests from him currently but if not then it would be perfect :D and at the end he will receive a new house in whatever new world he takes us to? We could possibly hire him but our crew doesn't really have any live humans for a reason. Although maybe I can put a bit of magic on him to turn him into a zombie :P

Rachel Dreamsong on May 31, 2014 wrote:

I have an idea! Maybe he could be assigned to a brand new quest line that takes us to a new world? Idk if you get any side quests from him currently but if not then it would be perfect :D and at the end he will receive a new house in whatever new world he takes us to? We could possibly hire him but our crew doesn't really have any live humans for a reason. Although maybe I can put a bit of magic on him to turn him into a zombie :P

What's that reason?

You know what would be a cool idea for Crimson Jake?

What if he gave a new, short quest line that would eventually lead up to gaining him as a Companion? I'm surprised no one suggested that. I think it would be really fun to have at least 1 Human Companion without loosing the Animal-Cartoon feel KI mostly goes for.

I could see him as a pretty solid Buccaneer. He could deal some strong 'left-hooks' (get it?) Until his quest was moved to another NPC on Skull Island, he seemed to have a taste for Battacuda, so perhaps he could have a line of Fish-themed powers. The Kraken Coils and Triton's Song powers would work for him. Plus he'd probably been in a ton of scraps to lose a leg and an arm. It's surely fitting of an old Pirate once on the Skies!