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Pirate101 Jokes!

2
AuthorMessage
Ensign
Mar 21, 2014
44
Here's more jokes.

1. What do you use to get something hot out of the oven? Go get E-mmett (sounds like a mitt) (I did not come up with it honestly)
2. What hairstyle does Hawkules love so much? A mow-hawk
3. Why does Old Scratch scratch himself a lot? Because he is Old Scratch and he has a bad itch.
4. What kinds of clothes does Shiruku Neko wear? Only clothes made of silk. (Shiruku means silk in japanese)
Ensign
Nov 18, 2013
12
Why couldn't the pirate see a movie? You could only pay in Crowns.
Ensign
Nov 09, 2012
11
So many funny jokes! I'll give it a shot (Musketeer pun totally intended).

What does The Nefarious Five use as their signature handshake? High fives!

How much did the pirate's earring cost? A buccaneer! (A buck, and an ear, get it?)

What do Kurgha Soldiers say when they drink a bottle of yum? They say: "Yum! Uh... I mean... I don't want anymore of this, it's too good! Actually, never mind, I want more!"

If a Monquistan had a single wish, what would they wish for? One million bananas!

What did the Ninja Pig say to the other Ninja Pig? He said: "........."

What do you call Wing Chun, Egg Shen, Zeena, and Rooster Cogburn when they launch themselves out of slingshots? ANGRY BIRDS!

It took me over an HOUR to think all of these jokes up (But the pirate earring joke came from somewhere else). I'll just leave it there for now.

Faithful Caitlin Strong
Captain
Mar 24, 2013
732
Here is a funny one one from each spiral

Skull Island- What did the pirate said to a fellow pirate who gave him a nice gift eg. bottle of yum ? " Yar welcome "

Monquestia- What do say to King Gortez after he gave you a crate of bananas ? ' Thanks a bunch "

Valenica - Bonnie Anne " I had enough of Valencia. "
( Isabel ) Lisa Morgan " Are you sure, Bonnie beacuse this only the 1st half. "

Cool Ranch - I thought we are going some where cool, are you sure it's cool ranch, not flaming hot ?-Amber
Yes, my friend it's Cool Ranch.-Nicole
What's the next world Nacho Cheese ?-Amber

Stay tuned for part 2
Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
10631
Faithful Caitlin S... on Jun 10, 2016 wrote:
So many funny jokes! I'll give it a shot (Musketeer pun totally intended).

What does The Nefarious Five use as their signature handshake? High fives!

How much did the pirate's earring cost? A buccaneer! (A buck, and an ear, get it?)

What do Kurgha Soldiers say when they drink a bottle of yum? They say: "Yum! Uh... I mean... I don't want anymore of this, it's too good! Actually, never mind, I want more!"

If a Monquistan had a single wish, what would they wish for? One million bananas!

What did the Ninja Pig say to the other Ninja Pig? He said: "........."

What do you call Wing Chun, Egg Shen, Zeena, and Rooster Cogburn when they launch themselves out of slingshots? ANGRY BIRDS!

It took me over an HOUR to think all of these jokes up (But the pirate earring joke came from somewhere else). I'll just leave it there for now.

Faithful Caitlin Strong
An hour well spent I told the buck an ear joke to my mom, she giggled and when I said it was a little corny, she said: "yes, but it's good corn".
Captain
Mar 24, 2013
732
Here is part 2 of the joke post as promised,

Moo Shu- What do call a fish that was prepared by El Toro ? A fish stick.

Marylebone- Look at those fireworks they are so pretty.- ( Isabel ) Lisa Morgan
That's not a firework it's beachhead firing at our ship, Captain.-Gracie

Aquila- " Lisa " I would not take the flute, from the say-tar if I where you.-Hawkules
I can't help it,beside it's also a loot and I want make pretty rainbow too.-( Isabel ) Lisa Morgan
Did I mention these rainbows are scary.-Hawkules
No,why Hawkules.-Lisa Morgan
Because you woke up that say-tar, " Lisa "-Hawkules

I hope you enjoy part 2
Gunner's Mate
May 28, 2013
294
What did Sam say when he saw Battle Angels coming aboard the ship?

"Look out, here come Battle Angels aboard the ship!"

What did Sam say when he saw Battle Angels coming aboard the ship wearing sunglasses?

Nothing, he didn't recognize them.
Ensign
Jan 14, 2015
43
1. What job would you give a bear from Grizzleheim A Baar-tender
2. Why did the Swashbuckler feels depressed Someone making fun of his new weapon made him feel offensive (mind the word, fence in it)
Commodore
Feb 29, 2012
892
The Highlander Fox of Avalon, better known as Emma, walks on to the stage, dressed sharply in a lovely suit and with a handful of notecards in her hands. She smiles nervously out at the audience and proceeds to begin the one thing you should never let her do- a comedy act.

"What do you call Gracie when she's wearing sunglasses?" Emma says, the stupidest looking grin possible plastered on her face. "Gracie ConRAD!"

A brick is promptly thrown at Emma, presumably by Louis LeBisque, who Emma never uses anymore.

"Okay, okay, tough crowd...let us see what else there is... Oh!" The musketeer's eyes light up again, and her stupid smirk returns to her face as she holds aloft what she seems to think is the Holy Grail of piratical humor, careful not to let the rushed penmanship be displayed to her spectating crew. "What metal does Sarah prefer over iron?"

The majority of the crew knew what was coming, but said nothing so as to humor their failure of a captain.

"Steele!"

A second brick was launched across the room, knocking the small captain over.

(I'm good now, I'm good! Dang Louis, I knew he shouldn't have been given that Architect's Kit for his birthday...now he has an ample supply of bricks to throw at me!)

Ciao!
Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
10631
Highlander Fox of ... on Jul 2, 2016 wrote:
The Highlander Fox of Avalon, better known as Emma, walks on to the stage, dressed sharply in a lovely suit and with a handful of notecards in her hands. She smiles nervously out at the audience and proceeds to begin the one thing you should never let her do- a comedy act.

"What do you call Gracie when she's wearing sunglasses?" Emma says, the stupidest looking grin possible plastered on her face. "Gracie ConRAD!"

A brick is promptly thrown at Emma, presumably by Louis LeBisque, who Emma never uses anymore.

"Okay, okay, tough crowd...let us see what else there is... Oh!" The musketeer's eyes light up again, and her stupid smirk returns to her face as she holds aloft what she seems to think is the Holy Grail of piratical humor, careful not to let the rushed penmanship be displayed to her spectating crew. "What metal does Sarah prefer over iron?"

The majority of the crew knew what was coming, but said nothing so as to humor their failure of a captain.

"Steele!"

A second brick was launched across the room, knocking the small captain over.

(I'm good now, I'm good! Dang Louis, I knew he shouldn't have been given that Architect's Kit for his birthday...now he has an ample supply of bricks to throw at me!)

Ciao!
Brilliant! ( maybe you should reset his accuracy to teach him a lesson about the proper use of bricks! )
Captain
Mar 24, 2013
732
Here is bonus joke from Valencia 2,

Nicole-" Hey Kane, I challenge you to a game of chess."
Kane-" Are you sure ? "
Nicole- " Yes,Kane I'm sure."
Kane - " Only on issue, there pirate."
Nicole-" What is it, Kane."
Kane-" Your team are the chess pieces."
Bonnie-" I had enough of Valencia ".
Contessa - " Oh no, Bonnie. I'm with the captain,I'm here to play."
Nicole- " Contessa, Bonnie, we are here to fight Kane not each other."
x Kane smiled.x
Contessa-" Did Kane just smiled,I thought clockworks have no feelings."
Petty Officer
May 17, 2011
89
What does a pirate always remember to do in the morning?

Swash his hands and Buckle his belt! (swash is supposed to mean wash)
Petty Officer
May 17, 2011
89
Why do bears never eat at the table?

They prefer eating at the baar.
Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Oooh...my kind of thread! Great jokes, everyone!

Why didn't Captain Hande buy Finn Dorsal's goggles?
...it would've cost him a arm and a leg, something he truly couldn't afford! Yeeesh, talk about yer Cutthroat rates!

What do you call Monkey King and Goronado fighting over a snack?
...a banana, split.

Two corsair mice went into a tavern...
...everyone ran out and the place was shut down! (health department ain't no joke, I tell ye!)

What kind of letters show up at a pirate's home, when his new pieces of armor are in.
...chain mail.

What did the man say when he fixed Kane's timepiece?
...Clock works!!!

What kind of weapon is Bonnie the most afraid of?
...a cut-lass!

If Subadai and Friar Sand lived next door to each other, what would you call them?
...neigh-brrrrrrs

Here's a couple of older ones for those who may have missed them:

What do you get when you cross El Toro, an Oni Spirit, Friar Sand and the Salt Witch........with a lemon and Homer Simpson?
...a Bull-Oni Sand-Witch on Sour DOH!

What is Subodai's favorite way to drink orange juice?
...from Khan-centrate!

What do you call a pig that is always whispering sweet nothings to a giraffe?
...an Inoshishi Neck-romancer!

I may have more to come...have to check in the cushions and under the rug
Captain
Feb 11, 2010
644
What are Louis LeBisque's favorite classical pieces? A harpoon canon.

Heh? Get it? Cannon, canon?

I love how I just thought of that.
Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
10631
CaptainBlackWolfBo... on Jul 5, 2016 wrote:
What are Louis LeBisque's favorite classical pieces? A harpoon canon.

Heh? Get it? Cannon, canon?

I love how I just thought of that.
Only a musician would get that joke. ( Or someone who knows classical music. * goes to search for my recording of Pachbel's Canon.* )
Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
We all know the "A pirate walked into a bar"..."he should've moved" kind of jokes. Well, here's some jokes in that similar mold, from what I like to call "Exercises in Humor".

2 pirates walked into a tavern...
...they gave up the Yum that day!

2 pirates walked into the black market...
...should've waited till daylight-- couldn't see anything they wanted to buy!

A pirate ran into a library...
...it's online education for him from now on!

A pirate strolled into a museum...
...seems she wanted to checkout some cultured stone....ouuuchhh!

2 pirates ran into a deli...
...now they're feeling sub-par. Yep, no heros were made that day!

A pirate scampered into the morgue...
...now he's a bit stiff!

2 pirates almost ran into the barber shop...
...talk about a close shave.

A pirate galloped into the Brawlin' Hall...
...he met his match that day, but no longer felt da feet! Ok, that joke was Rank!

A pirate skipped into his school...
...now she's a bit tarrrrrdy!

A pirate jogged into the local blacksmith's...
...he steeled his nerves and forged on anyways!

A pirate ran into The Commodores' office...
...causing him to shed a private tear. So much for being so Buff!

A pirate walked into Madame Vadima's office...
...she had to sit for a Spell....against her own Will!

A pirate wandered into Mordekai's office...
...left him in quite a Frenzy. Afterwards, he thought "Might as Whale" gather my Strength and Charge on!

A pirate ran into Morgan Lafitte's office...
...left her in a Black Fog. Here's hoping for a speedy recovery!

A pirate walked into Ol' Fish Eyes office...
...he yelled "Oh, Shoot"..."not what I aimed to do!" Actually that joke is lacking all Accuracy

Okay, that's it for now. I've think I've tortured ye all enough!
Gunner's Mate
May 28, 2013
294
Sam: "My new thesaurus is terrible!"
Milo: "How bad is it?"
Sam: "Terrible!"
Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
10631
1. Why did Kane cross the road?
To get near Rooke.

2. What is Queen's favorite drink?
Royal Crown Cola.

3. What is Phule's favorite cookie?
An Oreo.
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